Life on hold

Tuesday my dad was diagnosed with a golf ball sized tumor in his pineal gland. Currently they aren’t sure if it’s cancer or not, but there’s a large chance it isn’t. He’s having emergency surgery sometime next week. We still don’t know much. Currently life just went on hold with everything and turned shitty. Good thoughts, prayers, energy, or whatever are welcomed. 

So far today I’ve had an amazing voice lesson, amazing. I worked with more vibration stuff and oddly enough, freeing my jaw. I also went with Ann to her voice lesson and got to watch Charles (master of the voice) work with her, and stuff for her callbacks. Now it’s into downtown with Selena to hang out then to see Little Shop of Horrors tonight at ACT.

So for the first time in my life I was late for work. I’ve never been late for a job before. Well, no more then 3 minutes late. Today I thought I worked at 12:30. I worked at 12:00. I was in the middle of doing my hair when I got the call. I showed up 15 minutes late. My hair is suffering today. Remembering this day.

I just went car shopping. Christ. What a wakeup. For someone like myself making roughly $10 an hour you can not get much of anything. Sure, you can lease or buy but once you add in your daily amounts of money: rent, insurance, food, gas, anything extra there is barely any money left for a car payment. I’ll stick with my 94 Accord with it monthly break-ins, and yearly 911 calls of it being stolen. 


Today. It started out so well. Like so well. 

I spent the night at Tony’s house due to snowing and not wanting to drive in it at night. We cuddled all night and it was amazing. We only got 4 hours of sleep though. We woke up cuddled some more. He got in the shower got dressed while I was still in bed. We had coffee, talked, and got ready to take him to the train station. We walk outside and it’s dumping snow. Like dumping. The ground probably had an soft inch on it and it was getting taller. We get in my car. I start to pull out of the parking lot and that is when the day turned to shit. 

I pull out and all of a sudden my car starts spinning and I can’t stop it. We are headed straight towards a brand new BMW. I tap my breaks nothing. We aren’t stopping. We are just zooming straight towards this car. My last effort I pull my emergency brake. By the grace of God we stop with 2 inches to spare before hitting this BMW. 

I’m a really prepared person so I go into my trunk and grab my kitty litter. I lay down kitty litter all over my wheels and scrape the snow off the road lay as much down as I can. We get back in car and somehow again by God or whoevers magical powers I pull out and not smash the BMW. We make it down his hill to the road without hitting a car. 

I’m feeling good. We are now on this very large hill that hasn’t been plowed and is just snow and ice. I’m driving on the side of the road in the grass and fresh powder for traction. Then all of a sudden my car starts swerving and we are about to go off a quite large embankment into a ditch. Magically again I stop. My car is sideways with 4 feet until I’m going over this little cliff into a ditch. I get out of the car and I’m freaking out. It’s 8:25 and Tony’s train was leaving at 8:45. He tried to calm me. I calmed down and he called his friend Lexi. She was asleep and not at her house. She came and tried to save us. But before she got there these really amazing nice people came and helped us out. I again somehow managed to get my car down this huge fucking hill without getting Tony or I hurt. We drive to his Starbuck parking lot and it’s 8:50. He missed his train. I felt so bad. But somehow he was totally chill it didn’t bother him. 

We decided we’d try to let the snow melt. So Lexi our savor drove us to brunch in her safe and stable Honda CRV. We had an awesome brunch and talked. The snow wasn’t letting up, but the main roads were pretty clear. We deiced I should be fine. I said bye to Tony for the week and gratefully thanked Lexi. Tony was still really chill and awesome. It sucked saying bye but we both had to go. 

The drive home was the worst ever. It was snowing so hard. It was windy and my tires were not having it. I was scared the whole way. It took me 45 minutes when it should take 20. It was awful. I get home and I am so tired. I had to be at work in 4 hours so I took a three hour nap. I wake up at 4:15 with 15 minutes to get ready. I didn’t shower and looked like shit. As we say at work, YOLO. 

I’m at work and somehow it’s going well. I’m on my break and I get a text from a friend saying she’s canceling on tomorrow plans. In which they have been planned for almost 2 months. I get fucking pissed. Pissed. I am still fucking pissed. I am so mad right now. Today has just been fucking shit. It started so well and I was so ready for it to be a good day. Nope. Didn’t happen. I think it’s time for bed. But I wish you people all had better days then I did. And I wish you all great days tomorrow. But I wish too you all drive safe. I say goodnight now. 

That moment when you walk into Starbucks (work) on your day off and someone comes up and stops you and asks you if you were in that show. Then they continue to talk to you and all you can do is say thank you and nod your head. Awkward but grateful and thankful. 

Today is my Friday. 2:00pm couldn’t come any sooner. Working 41 hours last week as a barista kicked my ass. Bed here I come.

I mean who doesn’t love starting their Sundays at 4:15 in the morning.

This is how I feel about my day today. 

I need to find people to cover my shifts due to my wonderful jury duty, get my car fixed, find rides to work this week, and do it all before tomorrow. 

Abby brought me donuts because I took her shift today. She knows the way to my heart. Reasons why I love my team at work. Thanks Abby!

I need new friends. I’ve come to the realization I basically only have two friends… As in two friends I can hang out with on a regular basis. Sure they are both great, but somethings get old really fast between the two of them. I have no guy friends either. I use to have Jake… But that’s a whole other story. I need new friends but I’m not sure on how to “get” them, or make new friends. Like, I want some guy friends, but I don’t know any guys really. I don’t go to school so it’s kinda hard to meet new people I guess. All I do is work. And when I’m not working I’m usually doing errands, or off doing other things where I don’t meet new people… It kinda sucks. It’s all getting old too quick. I guess too I’d really like a boyfriend, or just some close to vent too who talk and what not… But we all know that won’t happen. I guess this is a post of me feeling sorry for myself and now having a life. Go me. I’m beyond ready for a change in life for the positive. Who the fuck knows when that’s going to happen…  

Tis a sunny day which only means one thing. People are going to order frappuccinos. 

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